SNARKY STEROIDS SIGNS SNUFFED BY STRICTER SECURITY: The SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE reports that Major League Baseball is tossing out the First Amendment when it comes to Barry Bonds baiting by ballpark fans:
When they’re not trying to silence fan unhappiness with lousy teams, MLB teams are starting to enforce strict sign policies as Bonds chases after 756*. As stated in a letter sent by the Diamondbacks’ office:
“As Mr. Bonds approaches the homerun record, we have been asked by Major League Baseball to carefully screen the signs that are brought into the ballpark by our fans.”
And it’s not just banners that are being, um, banned. Some fans were kicked out of Dodger Stadium for wearing blindfolds featuring hypodermic needle outlines. Another fan tried to sell foam asterisks, but many retailers with MLB contracts weren’t interested.
Further policies rumored to be in production include:
*No talking between pitches.
*No excessive booing after the 1st inning.
*No loud slurping from lukewarm $8 beers.
*No selling of juices of any kind at any concession stand during Bonds appearances.
Maybe Bud Selig should be a little less worried about placards in poor taste, and more worried about unplanned fan interaction.