In case you doubted for a moment that Charles Barkley still captures the American imagination, even the officer that brought Barkley in on suspicion of DUI has been forced to keep a low profile to avoid “the most media attention” Gilbert police have ever had.  Considering this is the department that chased down Tank Johnson, that’s no small boast.

We admit to being part of said officer’s problem; we didn’t get any further than the Gilbert public information officer’s pager before deadline, unfortunately.  Still, we can imagine why; the news took on a life of its own on a quiet January first, especially when the bear claws and blowjobs and begging for leniency came out (bear clows and blow jobs and begging; oh my!).

You can understand why Lt. Pete Smith may prefer to concentrate on the job after the death of one of Gilbert’s own (and his fellow co-worker) in 2006 at the hands of a drunk driver.  He’s spent most of the last 13 years concentrating on DUIs; we’re sure this didn’t rate in his top hundred arrests.

Well, maybe if you include the bear claws.  Man, who doesn’t love bear claws?  We’d tattoo bear claws on our posterior for one.