Barfield Digs Matt Stairs’ “Young, Athletic Body”

Former big-armed Blue Jays outfielder Jesse Barfield is blogging for the CBC, and he’s off to a splentirific start, as he recently noted his disdain for the prison-issue baggies now being worn by big leaguers:

Jesse Barfield Manny Ramirez Baggy Pants

Can the baggy uniforms be the reason that female attendance has gone down a bit? Chicks may dig the long ball, but if the uniform isn’t fitting, in the baseball stands, the chicks ain’t sitting. Take it from me, I love to style - my family calls me the Style Master - but it’s with taste and off the field. What’s funny is you may think these guys are trying to cover up bad bodies, but they’re not. Most of these guys have sculpted bodies under all that fabric. Take it from me, they better enjoy having a young, athletic body while they can because time does take it’s toll.

Barfield, who calls himself “Style Master,” is right on the money. The only reason we really got into baseball as a kid was the oiled-up Barfield-Lloyd Moseby-Cliff Johnson posedowns in the Jays’ ’80s-era clubhouse.

Cliff Johnson Male Strippers

On the bright side, if the players are going to continue to go with the rumpled, trash bag look, then there’s a huge marketing opportunity for pregame “Thunder From Down Under” performances. We’re assuming that would go over especially well in Wrigleyville.