• Guess there was something going on over in Washington D.C. today - inoculation, immigration, irrigation … something like that.

(“Hail to the ME!”)

• Racial slurs, gay bashing, simulated masturbation - Australian Open organizers really know how to put on a show!

• Donovan McNabb needs a new lawn, thanks to some Arizona arsonists.

• A priest who blessed the Cubs’ dugout says the team has been talking smack about his services. Railing on one of God’s reps? Good thing Cubs fans aren’t superstitious or anything.

• Brooks was at last night’s Lakers game, and gives some lip to Dyan Cannon (as if she needs any more).

• How do we know Rey Maualuga is a brave mofo? Not only does he gyrate behind Erin Andrews, he also has no fear of being drafted by Detroit.

• Clear Channel clears out 1,850 employees, suddenly silencing many local sports radio shows.

• Skater Molly Oberstar figures she’ll win a Minnesota modeling contest.

• And the winner of today’s Mo’ Bynum bashing caption contest is…

Orton’s Lucky Shot Glass, who treks over to beam up this fascinating quip: Although the Referee called Bynum for a flagrant foul,  NBA Commissioner Stern later decided that the Lakers can use the Vulcan neck pinch as a legal defense.

Thanks for playing. We’ll be punching up a new contest tomorrow.