Barack Obama Officially Our One & Only Overlord

• Guess there was something going on over in Washington D.C. today - inoculation, immigration, irrigation … something like that.

Barack Obama oath

(“Hail to the ME!”)

• Racial slurs, gay bashing, simulated masturbation - Australian Open organizers really know how to put on a show!

Donovan McNabb needs a new lawn, thanks to some Arizona arsonists.

• A priest who blessed the Cubs’ dugout says the team has been talking smack about his services. Railing on one of God’s reps? Good thing Cubs fans aren’t superstitious or anything.

Brooks was at last night’s Lakers game, and gives some lip to Dyan Cannon (as if she needs any more).

• How do we know Rey Maualuga is a brave mofo? Not only does he gyrate behind Erin Andrews, he also has no fear of being drafted by Detroit.

• Clear Channel clears out 1,850 employees, suddenly silencing many local sports radio shows.

• Skater Molly Oberstar figures she’ll win a Minnesota modeling contest.

• And the winner of today’s Mo’ Bynum bashing caption contest is…

Andrew Bynum Mo Williams LeBron James

Orton’s Lucky Shot Glass, who treks over to beam up this fascinating quip: Although the Referee called Bynum for a flagrant foul,  NBA Commissioner Stern later decided that the Lakers can use the Vulcan neck pinch as a legal defense.

Thanks for playing. We’ll be punching up a new contest tomorrow.