Yes, Baby Racing Is Here; Will Civilization Survive?

Since the dawn of man, we’ve all asked ourselves the same question: How can we make our babies go faster? Of course the Lithuanians are the first to get a real handle on this, perfecting the sport of baby racing. Don’t ask about the pit stops, you really don’t want to know.

Baby racing

You may think that you have a fast baby, but you’ll never be sure unless you race him. And you can watch it on TV, but there’s nothing like going out to the track and listening to the roar of the babies live. There goes our leader now! Now where’s the beer guy?

As we see below, there are several techniques to make your baby go faster. But you’ll notice that the one dad there has a laptop. Why? MAJOR LEAGUE JERK thinks they have the answer:

This is the finish line. See all the moms there holding stuffed animals, dolls and toys? But that one guy in the middle there, that guy is holding a laptop. Think about the brilliance of that move. Your kid is always scooting around the house getting into all the sh** you don’t want him to play with.  He grabs your laptop so you yell at him … , etc. But that just makes him want it more. So what do you do? You bring the token of his desire to the baby racing competition to see if it gets any giddy-up in him.

Baby racing

Or, read how the Lithuanian site LRYTAS describes it.

Sekmadienį apie pietus Vilniaus prekybos ir pramogų centre „Panorama“ vykusiose kūdikių lenktynėse tėveliai susigalvojo įvairiausių viliojimo būdų.

You’re probably thinking the same thing I am. Shouldn’t Borat somehow be involved?