NBA Won’t Punish Ref Calling Vince Carter “Boy”

Vince Carter doesn’t mind terribly anymore if you call him soft, cursed with a low pain tolerance, focused on self, unmotivated by basketball, or that he will play at less than his maximum effort in order to leave Canada.  He either accepts them as canards he can’t avoid or as true.  However, he would like […]

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Barkley’s Arresting Cop Has to Keep a Low Profile

In case you doubted for a moment that Charles Barkley still captures the American imagination, even the officer that brought Barkley in on suspicion of DUI has been forced to keep a low profile to avoid “the most media attention” Gilbert police have ever had.  Considering this is the department that chased down Tank Johnson, […]

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Olympians to Receive Bag of Plants for Winning?

Let’s say you’re an Olympic athlete.  (Note: this theoretical exercise also grants you permission to tell the object of your passions at the bar tonight that you are indeed an Olympic athlete.)  You’ve flown hundreds of thousands of miles over the last four years to train and participate in warm-up events and qualifying tournaments. You […]

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RichRod Bravely Leads Michigan to Record Loss

Hand it to Rich Rodriguez, one of our particular favorites; the man knows how to turn heads and set records.  Today, he showed Michigan football a place it has never been before: eight losses in a season.  The 21-14 defeat to bowl-bound Northwestern in a “half-deserted” Michigan Stadium sealed RichRod in the Michigan history books […]

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Cubs Can’t Find Buyer, Still Can’t Alight on Cuban

Look forward to hearing this excuse for the next six months from all your favorite teams and leagues: “Gosh, we’d love to <do something good for the team or sport>, but the credit crisis has prevented us from <spending any money that doesn’t come from taxpayers>.”
That’s the current excuse why a big player contract would […]

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Retired NFL Players Want Mad(den) Money Now

The NFL and the NFLPA (the union) have done little to promote players until recently, creating a Q Rating gap between current players and retired ones.  The NFL wanted to promote teams over players to keep loyalties (and cash flow) strong.
On the other hand, the NFLPA, under the guidance of the recently-passed Gene Upshaw, didn’t […]

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Yankees’ Joba Chamberlain Hit w/Nebraska DUI

Chaucer, in “The Canterbury Tales”, gave us advice from his St. Jerome: “Dooth somme goode dedes that the devel, which is oure enemy, ne fynde yow nat unocupied.”  Idle hands do the Devil’s work and all that.  And this has been your weekly justification for that English lit degree that now has you working in […]

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Pirates To Decide NL Wild Card And AL Central?

The Pirates will play the Padres in San Diego this afternoon in what would appear to be a game important only to the accountants of the players and owners.  However, the Pittsburgh Pirates will affect the outcome of not one but both remaining playoff slots today.
In fact, this might be the first time in years […]

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Teach Your Child How to Shake Her Wii Pom-Poms

Overbearing mothers of young girls, your dreams have come true.  Someone finally got around to inventing a device that will brutally drill the lovable product of your loins in Popularity 101 before they reach high school so you can concentrate on more pressing tasks, like living vicariously through your li’l darlin’ or joining a few […]

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Race Fans to Limit Themselves to a Case of Beer

Brave Australian motor sports fans will trek across the continent to take in the spectacle of the Bathurst 1000 race with the full knowledge that, when they arrive, they will have to get by on one case of beer for the whole day’s festivities.  (Per person, of course.  This is still Australia.)

It’s only one case […]

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