Australian Agent Loves The Child Pornography

In the movie “Jerry Maguire”, Tom Cruise plays a sports agent named, oddly enough, Jerry Maguire. He gets fired from the big agency he works for and starts his own company in which his only client is an Arizona Cardinals receiver named Rod Tidwell. Jerry then spends the entire movie killing himself to do everything he can to help Tidwell get the big contract he wants, and he does it all ethically. He also falls in love with some scrunchy faced chick with a kid. Anyway, I just want to make sure you understand that agents like this don’t exist.

(SHOW ME THE NAKED CHILDREN!!)

In reality agents would throw their own mother in front of a train if it meant getting a “personal toilet” clause thrown into their client’s contract. In fact, I’m pretty sure Scott Boras has actually done this. Anywhoo, the “good” news is that sleazy agents aren’t just an American phenomenon and they exist in other countries as well. Like in Australia where agents not only lie to their clients, but they also get busted for child pornography.

From THE SYDNEY MORNING HERALD:

His sales pitch to young male clients promises a chance at winning lucrative overseas contracts playing in professional leagues, telling them his management is “an opportunity you don’t want to miss”.

But what Trevor Lindsay Jarrett has not told potential recruits and their parents is that he was convicted in 2005 of possessing child pornography.

Until 30 days ago, when the police came calling, the Australian Baseball Federation was also unaware of his past.

You see, baseball is a sport that is quickly gaining popularity in Australia. You need not look past current Australian Major Leaguers like Grant Balfour and Ryan Rowland-Smith and a whole cast of others. Soon baseball will have passed kangaroo boxing and didgeridoo fighting as the continent’s most popular sports. So there are a lot young Australians playing in hopes of coming to America and being the next Graeme Lloyd.

Which is where Jarrett comes in, promising them the chance to achieve their dreams. Of course, as in most jobs, it’s kind of hard to get hired when you have a history of being busted for kiddie porn, so naturally he left that off of his resume. The problem is that Jarrett is supposed to let the authorities know where he’s working, and whom he’s working with.

He had been telling them he was unemployed before he was pulled over as a passenger in a car with a 17-year old kid who told police that Jarrett was “helping him sign a contract in the US to play in the pro baseball league.”

Now Jarrett is scheduled to go back to court on April 3rd to be sentenced but before he does, the judge wants him to undergo a pychiatric evaluation. Because apparently being into kiddie porn isn’t normal. Who knew?

Either way, it’s pretty obvious that Australia is not the safest place in the world to raise a child. I mean, as if dealing with all those dingos eating their babies wasn’t enough, now they have to worry about agents wanting to take naked pictures of them.