Unlikely: DC Athletes Avoid Fatties, Jack Daniels?

Dan Steinberg of DC SPORTS BOG keeps us current on night club advice by quizzing local pro athletes about how to make the scene. Or more specifically, how to avoid ending up on your friendly neighborhood slumming sports blog the next morning.

Chris Cooley's Wife Photos

(Chris Cooley doesn’t dance for wife Christy, but he does walk their Westie)

Redskins Tight End Chris Cooley tells Steinberg that eschewing alcohol you can’t see through is a good start:

“Everyone wants to drink a shot,” Cooley explained. “Don’t drink whiskey. I used to drink Jack Daniels. Bad decision. You get too filled up.”

“Everyone wants to do a shot with me,” he said. “I don’t know if that’s my image or what it is, but I can’t drink shots any more, because it wound up being 20 shots. Everywhere I go, ‘Do a shot with us!!!’ No more. That’s my tip as a pro athlete, don’t do a shot. And don’t dance if you’re [bad] at it, because everyone watches.”

Everyone watches” is now code for “Everyone has a cellphone camera and a Youtube account.

Meanwhile, Washington Wiz forward Caron Butler imparts evening-out wisdom that could also be taken to heart by your local garden variety mafia hit man and/or Pacman Jones and/or Plax:

“Be cautious,” Caron Butler said, when I asked for advice. “Really be aware of your surroundings, and know where both of the exits are.”

Both exits? Sounds like Butler’s been frequenting some first-class strip joints establishments.

And the most important advice of all:

“Watch out for the big girl,” Butler added. “Everybody knows what that means. It’s true, the big girl always wants to dance with you.”

Clinton Portis Caron Butler Don't Dance Together

(I’m with you on this one, Caron)

So that must mean Butler doesn’t hang out with Clinton Portis much these days?