Asian Poker Tour Extends Hand To Michael Phelps

As much as he loves the Denny’s Grand Slam, an occasional bong hit and the watery kicking of Milorad Cavic’s ass, Michael Phelps may enjoy one thing even more. He has expressed the desire in the past to one day play poker professionally, and has been seen haunting casinos on more than one occasion. That’s why it just may be possible that he’ll be appearing at the Asian Poker Tour event in Macau next week.

If Phelps accepts the invitation, you know who’s going to be next to show up. Sitting across from Phelps at the $10,000 no-limit hold-’em table will be his old nemesis, The Pope.

“You dodged me in Rome,” growled the Pontiff, slowly removing his sunglasses to reveal a pair of cold, bloodshot eyes. “But now you’re mine.” (Dramatic pause). “Beat these!” (Throws down a queen-high straight).

Phelps didn’t take them up on their previous invitation to play at the APT — he was kind of busy in China that week — but this time he just might. Anyway, the invitation is kind of humorous.

An excerpt, courtesy of ONLINECASINOCITY.COM:

Forget the controversy about suit changes in your sport, concentrate on these suits: spades, clubs, diamonds and hearts! Forget your rivalry with Milorand Cavic, how about a heads-up game with the legendary Johnny Chan or modern day poker icon JC Tran? We know you couldn’t make the meeting with the Pope but how about a meeting of poker minds in Macau?

Some media reports even suggest that you may have got in with the wrong crowd in the last 12 months – we promise to keep you out of trouble. We’ll give you access to pools of sharks, fish and those that you swim in! If you don’t want to bring your goggles, fair enough, bring a pair of sunglasses and your poker face! While you are at it, you could ask a certain poker playing President by the name of Barack Hussein Obama II if he fancies joining you!

The question remains is the newly rejuvenated human dolphin really a fish? We hope to find out!

Best Wishes,
The Asian Poker Tour

Phelps has to yet replied to the APT, but he is not unfamiliar with the ways of the flop, pocket aces and running sevens. No sooner had he arrived home from Bejing last year than he was packing for Vegas, where he finished ninth in a $1,500 no-limit hold’em event at the Caesars Palace Classic, earning $5,213 in prize money in a field of 187 players.

“I love to play, and its fun; it’s exciting,” he said at the time. “I think this is a good time for me to learn some things, to pick up a few things in poker, to try to read people and [learn the] mindset that goes into it and everything — just to try something new. I’ve been playing for a few years, and I started getting more serious, and I’ve only played four live tournaments in my life. I’m just trying to get some more experience. I’m two for four on final tables, so that’s not bad.”

Plus, they’re filming a Chinese-language version of “Rounders” in Macau that week; perhaps Phelps could play the Edward Norton role.

Pope Benedict XVI: “That ace could not have helped you (drops all of his chips onto the table).

Pope Benedict XVI: “I bet it all.”

Michael Phelps: (Laughs) “You’re right Your Holiness, the ace didn’t help (pushes chips towards the center and flops down his cards). I flopped the nut straight.”

(Cardinals move toward Phelps, want to beat him up)

Pope Benedict XVI: “No. He beat me straight up. Pay the man his money.”