A’s Rod Must Impregnate Kate Hudson Right Now

Sure, when Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson started dating (and we dutifully lowered ourselves to covering it), we figured it was a matter of “aw look at these kids and their affection” style dating. As most new relationships go, y’know.

Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson
(Kate, you’re looking womanly. That won’t work.)

Oh,  but this is a story about men and women in their 30s. Specifically, women, aged 30. And when it comes to relationships, there’s one thing they want: BABIES. So incredibly, Hudson has reportedly approached A-Rod about a pregnancy - but as what appears to be a business deal.

IN TOUCH has the bizarre details (emphasis ours):

Kate Hudson has only been dating New York Yankees baseball star Alex Rodriguez for a few months, but she’s already hoping to start a family with him. The actress has a son - Ryder, 5 - with ex-husband Chris Robinson, but a friend of hers explains: “She just turned 30 and she’s ready to have her second child. She wants Ryder to have a sibling, so she brought up the idea to Alex and told him that they would make a beautiful baby together, and that she would assume all financial responsibility.”

Whoa. Surely there’s absolutely nothing wrong with telling a guy, “I’m asking you to give me a son with the understanding that you won’t care enough about him to commit to being a part of his upbringing.” How can that possibly go wrong?

Fortunately, A-Rod’s the one with the clear head on his shoulders (yeah. we know.), and he’s balking for now:

But the pal adds that A-Rod, who has daughters Natasha, 4, and Ella, 16 months, with ex-wife Cynthia, is just not ready for more kids right now.

Plus, as someone who’s got to look at himself in the mirror (and occasionally slip that image the tongue), A-Rod’s got to know that Hudson’s wrong, and that their baby cannot be beautiful until purple lipstick becomes fashionable again ever.

But if Hudson really, really wants to consummate and impregnate, may we suggest some delightful evening wear to help the mood?

Derek Jeter Jersey
(Yeah… just like that.)