Brooks is punchy about partying over at the Playboy Mansion tonight.

• Is Ron Artest willing to give up a few bucks so he can gain an NBA title? “Not in a million years.”

• A modeling agency wants to turn seven LPGAers into real lookers.

• Would it have been too much trouble for Mark Buehrle to pony up for Dad’s plane ticket so he could see his son’s 1,000th MLB career strikeout?

• Jonathan Papelbon briefs us about the state of his stinky underwear.

• Michael Strahan starts his network analyzing early, saying that ex-Giants teammate Jeremy Shockey has got to go.

• Did a Houston TV station get duped by another WWE death stunt?

• Kansas fan “White Owl” is all set to tie the knot with a young bird.

• Ty Tryon tries again to take on a professional golf career.

• A couple of NBA players take bad aim at playing with guns.

• Big Brown trainer Rick Dutrow Jr. is a dope for doping his other horses.