Another Day, Another Affluent Mizzou Fan Salute

Missouri resident Chris Shaw is your winner of the latest Powerball jackpot, worth $258 million. The unmarried 28-year-old father of three small children by two women bought the winning ticket at the convenience store where he works. He said he had $28.96 in his bank account when his numbers hit.

Missouri Man Curtis Shaw Wins The Powerball Jackpot

(Mizzou-rah!)

AP: “He accepted his ceremonial check at the Missouri Lottery headquarters in Jefferson City wearing a tan and red plaid shirt, a red hat eand a huge grin — minus two front teeth.

Tough break about the teeth. So how did he lose them?

AP: “He says he lost because he didn’t take care of them.

Wait, was Shaw talking about his teeth or Quin Snyder and St. Louis AAU hustlers?

So will Mizzou get any of Shaw’s Powerball winnings? My guess is an endowment dedicated to the preservation and upkeep of the countless cigarette machines already currently located on campus.