ANNA DOESN’T NEED CANNED FOOD TO BUILD OUR BONES: OK, Anna Kournikova’s latest endorsement deal left us perplexed considering her competitive tennis career is over and her sex symbol status has dimmed considerably.
And now we get even more news from the Theatre of the Absurd today: “The hot tennis starlet is teaming with the Cartoon Network on an all-new healthy lifestyles DVD program entitled ‘Get Animated with Anna Kournikova’ that will teach kids fun, creative ways to stay healthy and active in any typical indoor classroom setting.”
As part of the DVD promotion, Kournikova will do the following to
feed the fantasies of help kids get healthy:
• “Air Step Aerobics“, which is described as “similar to Step Aerobics only without a step.” Wot?
• “Pretend Rope Jumping, no equipment is needed as students use only a ‘pretend’ rope.” Wot?
• “Canned Food Exercises are a convenient way to strengthen muscles and help build strong bones without having to spend money on equipment.”
Strong bones? Finally something Anna knows all about.