Like all of us, I like Kenny Mayne. I think his deadpan delivery belongs on TV, and I hope he stays good and long at ESPN. I like mentioning him because it gives me the opportunity to roll out a Buster Keaton reference - which is who he reminds me of (next up: Scott Van Pelt as Harold Lloyd!).

(Buy it, we dare ya)

Kenny also reminds me of that quirky rock band that every major record label once had. No one bought their albums, but because that was a time when record companies actually made a lot of money, the add-on ensemble was a feather for those occupying the company penthouse.

I also want you to buy his new book, “An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport“. At least if you want to. I’m not here to deter you on that whatsoever (notice the pained, mixed signals?).

The last few weeks, a lot of us bloggers were emailed 3-4 times by Kenny’s publisher’s PR outfit, which cooked up some semi-lame gadgets to promote the book (ex. one email had Kenny declaring himself eligible for the NFL Draft). We mention this not to mock Kenny. If we were trying to move a book, we’d probably try something similar. Something, anything to get people to notice our offering in the now-noisy, well-read blogosphere.

We didn’t post about the book (though we did link this great interview of Mayne by DEADSPIN’s A.J. Daulerio) because I initially didn’t think the book sounded all that interesting. But after awhile, I started to feel bad about not mentioning it. Kenny is obviously a good guy, and his work deserves at the very least a quick look-see. So while holed up on a pleasant 5+ hour hop from MIA to LAX, I read a piece by Mayne about his book in ESPN THE MAG.

Also included in the Mayne mag package were excerpts (called “tangents”) from his book.

Here’s two. First, from a chapter titled, “Golf, Holes In One”:

“It began with the one phone we had in our house growing up. Most of the time, my sisters monopolized that phone. When we first moved in we actually had to share the phone with the neighbors. It was called a party line. If we wanted to make a call, we had to check to see if the neighbor was already already on the line. Usually they-or we-would hasten the call to allow the other party to make theirs. Party On.”

Another excerpt, from a chapter titled, “Two Minute Warning”:

“As I said, I’m on an airplane. I barely made my flight. I left for LAX in my rental car with plenty of time to spare. Then I found out the lame rental car company closes its rental office at 10 p.m.? Who closes its rental car office at 10 p.m.? Enterprise Rent-A-Car, that’s who.”

So those are some of the highlights of the book? Not exactly uproarious, compelling stuff.

Now, we’re both thinking the same thing. Mayne’s witty observos don’t translate to print because it’s all in the delivery for him. In many cases, we laugh before he says a word, which is the ultimate comedic compliment.

And on the bright side, Kenny did have the fabulous idea to have his kindegarten-aged daughters draw famous sports moments for the book. That does sound fun and good for a laugh.

But book excerpts are like movie trailers. If they aren’t compelling, it’s a safe bet the book won’t be. TO BE CLEAR, we didn’t read the book, so we aren’t saying you shouldn’t buy it. We just won’t be endeavoring a complete read.

Party on, deadpanning one.