Brown football players don’t exactly get a lot of press. Then again, most of them aren’t dating two-time Olympian and general machine of gymnastic voluptuousness Alicia Sacramone. But there’s always the exception to the rule, and ladies and gentlemen, we now know who the exception to that rule is: defensive back Eric Hunt!
THE BIG LEAD broke the story, thanks to a tip off from a mutual friend of the couple. Or, perhaps, a former mutual friend of the couple. Who knows whether Sacramone was willing to have her relationship with a guy who has a truly odd-looking shaved head and may or may not have a gap in his teeth revealed. And he has a soul patch. Not that it takes away from her aforementioned voluptuousness, but hey, the guy’s a little weird looking, right?
Considering the fact that he’s a defensive back, he’s also probably one of the better athletes in the Brown program. Or so you’d think. But no, it turns out that Eric Hunt is a junior and still a benchwarmer. In 2008, he only got into the first two games of the year. We assume that’s because of some kind of a knee injury, but even then, he didn’t record any official statistics in his two appearances. You read that right folks, Sacramone is dating a guy who doesn’t even get on the field for Brown! Guess she’s not a status monger, huh?
Obviously, this is the bigger — and much more significant — question. How did Hunt pull that off? Did he tell her he was actually Ethan Hunt? Otherwise that mission does seem impossible. What about some kind of a Jedi mind trick think? He might be capable of it. It probably doesn’t hurt that he’s a Business Economics major, which means that she could be trying to lock down her burgeoning endorsement deals with future investments.
Yet he’s one of the investments? Seems unwise, doesn’t it? Surely, this is unfair to Eric Hunt, but then again … look at the guy. Sacramone should be dating the quarterback of the Brown football team, at the very least, not some schmo with a soul patch from St. Louis. Or maybe she could land reserve Giants linebacker Zac DeOssie. He went to Brown, and he’s not nearly the middle-of-the-road eye sore that Hunt seems to be.
Then again, maybe she just really likes the guy. Hey, more power to them. In the end that’s what’s important, right? Isn’t it? We need some validation here because we’re still having a hard time buying the fact that Eric Hunt is dating Alicia Sacramone. We may need some time to be alone.
Yet there is a silver lining to all this: Who is that comely lass next to Alicia in her photo with Mr. Hunt in the club? Clearly, further research is necessary. Good luck digging gents.