*WOW* THAT DIDN’T TAKE LONG; TONY PARKER A CHEATER? Today’s bimbo who claims to have slept with a sports celeb is brought to you by X17ONLINE, which reports that someone named “Alexandra Paressant tells X17online exclusively that she had an affair with Mr. Eva Longoria!”

Paressant, who has also been with soccer player Ronaldinho, claims she boinked Tony Parker for a couple months “AFTER Eva and Tony’s big wedding — in fact, Alex and Tony MET AT EVA AND TONY’S WEDDING!!!”

X17online also supposedly has “samples of what she says are text messages with Tony exchanged at the end of September, just after the two slept together, Alex claims, at the Park Hyatt (where Eva and Tony and their wedding party stayed!).“OK, it appears we’ve reached our exclamation point quota for the day. *CAPS LOCK off*