Alexander to DC, Zorn To Deny He Ever Said That

You might remember Shaun Alexander from when you drafted him in the first round two years ago and he single-handedly proceeded to torpedo thousands of fantasy teams around the world. Or perhaps you remember him from last year, when you took him in the second round and hoped for a bounce-back season, and he screwed you again through a combination of injury and general suckitude. Well, get ready for him to steal goal-line carries from Clinton Portis, thereby enraging fantasy owners for an unprecedented third year in a row.

Shaun Alexander on Jeopardy

Reports out of DC have Alexander meeting with the Redskins today, with an expected offer forthcoming. [UPDATE: it’s a done deal.] The Skins need a backup back after Ladell Betts went down with a sprained knee Sunday, and Alexander has been itching to get back in the league after being released by the Seahawks in April. He’ll reunite with Jim Zorn, who clearly wasn’t anticipating this when he threw Alexander under the bus in February: (Throw your copy of Madden 07 against the wall and come back for the damning quote after the jump.)

To watch Clinton Portis and the strain for the extra yard, it can fire you right up. I think he has excellent vision and he seems to be disciplined moving in the hole. He is probably the idea of an every-down back. We did not do that in Seattle. We did not have that every-down back in Seattle. We had to piece and put and kind of makeshift situations with plays. Clinton Portis is the kind of guy that you can have in and pass protect, can have in and run the ball.

Hear that? That’s the sound of the bus speeding away, and Alexander’s brittle bones fracturing again.

Alexander’s had quite the career arc. After his MVP 2005 season, he signed an 8 year, $62 million dollar deal with the Seahawks. Two disappointing seasons later, the Hawks were able to simply cut him, since money isn’t guaranteed in the NFL. Why even bother with contracts if you don’t have to honor them? Gene Upshaw died in vain.

It’s surprising that it’s taken this long for another team to give him a shot, but apparently all 32 teams are perfect this year and don’t need a former superstar at a bargain basement price. Alexander has chalked up teams’ reluctance to try him out to religious discrimination, which is always a good way to endear yourself to general managers.

Tiki Barber

(This is actually Tiki Barber, but you wouldn’t have known unless I told you. Freaky, huh?)