We’ve heard the BCS called a lot of names over the years, but Air Force coach Troy Calhoun is taking it to a whole new level. That’s right, according to Calhoun, the BCS is just a bunch of commie pinko bastards.
(”BCS! BCS! BCS!”)
At a luncheon featuring the coaches of Colorado’s NCAA football programs, Calhoun made a very timely analogy in comparing the BCS to the Soviet Union. Meanwhile, Orrin Hatch keeps saying he’s going to get the federal government involved in the whole thing, likely because he believes his Utah team isn’t getting a fair shake at winning the national title (even though they’ve made a BCS game twice).
According to the COLORADO SPRINGS GAZETTE, Calhoun think the BCS is just a raging bunch of Stalins:
“We basically have a system for college football that too closely resembles the old Soviet Presidium,” Calhoun said, referring to the policymaking and governing body of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. “You have a seven-member politburo that’s decided if you aren’t one of those party members, then you’re unable to participate.”
“You think back to the old Soviet Presidium, and what happened was you told every person, ‘Hey, you aren’t going to be able to grow a whole lot. We’re going to tell you all you can earn.’ That was the approach. … There’s a very, very strong resemblance that unfortunately is a part of college football.”
So what’s the solution to this horrible oppression of the football proletariat? Why, government intervention, of course!
The WIZ OF ODDS says Utah senator Orrin Hatch is going to be holding hearings to try and engineer a way for his home state teams to have a chance at winning the national title. Here’s what he has to say:
“You have 50 percent of the schools who are the elite schools. They get almost all of the money, and the other schools, no matter how good they are, don’t even have a chance to compete for the national title,” he said.
Wait, so is it an oligarchy or a communist regime? It’s been too long since I’ve played Civilization II.
This is all in response to the BCS Oversight Committee’s rejection of the Mountain West Conference’s proposal for a playoff system. University of Oregon president Dave Frohnmeyer was the one who was charged with delivering the news, and says that everyone needs to just get over themselves:
Some Auburn Tiger fans, of course, still write to me; and our Oregon Ducks believed we, instead of Nebraska, should have faced the University of Miami in the Rose Bowl for the national championship. We got over it.
Yeah, shut up everyone with your “better” systems that are “fair” and “popular.” Everything is taken care of. Besides, there’s too much “academic integrity” at stake here. At least, that’s what Frohnmeyer’s trying to sell:
the enterprise of higher education is far more than what happens on the playing field.
Oh yeah, if there’s anything we’ve learned over the last 20 years, it’s that the classroom always comes first when it comes to student-athletes. Commies!