Abstaining Before Big Game Won’t Stop Blowing

Le DEUCE OF DAVENPORT has a firm grip on the biggest news of the weekend (non-Clete Thomas division, of course): there’s absolutely no reason to believe pre-game relations will negatively affect performance on the field of play. In fact, sticking to routine will help focus the mind and possibly improve results.

Frankly, we’re happy to put this particular superstition to bed. It always rather reminded us of this vignette from Dr. Strangelove:

We can certainly do without the notion that women are vampires that suck the vital life force from athletes with their wiles. Delilah, begone!

After all, that’s what agents are for. (We kid! We kid. Twitter us; we’ve got a killer idea for a musical based on Logan’s Run with songs from ELO’s “Discovery” album. If we change the color of the gem to blue and fold it in with “Don’t Bring Me Down”… well, we don’t want to give it all away now. Call us. Love ya!)

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