A-Rod’s Rehab Locale Doesn’t Care About A-Rod

It’s widely known that it’s hard to get a handle on the psyche of Alex Rodriguez. For as closely guarded as every single answer he gives to the press is, he’s an awfully big attention whore. He never talks about his life off the diamond… but he divorces his wife, then turns up with Madonna instead?

Alex Rodriguez making out with himself
(and then Madonna gets extensive plastic surgery to look exactly like Rodriguez!)

Perhaps, though, privacy is his actual goal, because while his team goes through spring training in Florida before moving back up to New York for the season, A-Rod’s out in Vail, Colorado, recovering from minor hip surgery. And fortunately(?) for A-Rod, the locals have other things to worry about. Like, oh, everything.


Rodriguez hardly stands out in this winter resort, which draws any number of celebrities for its world-class skiing and any number of athletes seeking repair at the medical center’s renowned Steadman Hawkins Clinic.

“It’s not to say people don’t know them,” Mayor Dick Cleveland said. “But celebrities are very comfortable here because they enjoy it without undue harassment.”

Let’s just set aside the fact that the city elected a guy named “Dick Cleveland” for mayor for one second. Just for a second. Yes, it’s weird that we’re finding out about A-Rod’s newfound penchant for peace and quiet from the New York press, but it’s hard to get that sort of information anywhere else (imagine, for example, how unbelievably boring A-Rod’s Twitter feed would be. Would you follow it? I don’t think I would). Would A-Rod carry that taste for privacy into the rest of his career? Maybe even get traded to a smaller market?

Oh, what’s that? His agent is  the cartoonishly money-hungry Scott Boras, who will saw A-Rod’s head off if he wants to take a pay cut? Okay, then, never mind. Don’t get too attached to Vail, A-Rod. The New York dead paper vultures miss you.

Now, like I promised, back to the Dick Cleveland guy. Hahaha. Dick.