A-Rod Is Sent to Bench for Fatigue (or the Vapors)

Alex Rodriguez, in the midst of a spectacularly bad 2009, has been pulled from the starting lineup for at least two games due to fatigue by Brian Cashman and Hal Steinbrenner (and not Joe Girardi).  Rodriguez finally agreed to the forced sabbatical after a phone call-née-intervention involving Cashman, Steinbrenner, Rodriguez’s doctors, his Aunt Ginny, and Tyra Banks (but not Joe Girardi).

Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson

(Now why would Alex Rodriguez, a healthy and extraordinarily fit young man, grow tired easily in Miami? It’s a mystery.)

After each person tearfully told Alex how much he was hurting the Yankees family by playing through the fatigue and how much they loved him, A-Rod finally admitted that he’s “bone tired” and will take a few days off, despite playing this weekend in Miami near family. Sez Alex: “I’ll call my mom and tell her to save the gas money.” Too bad she doesn’t know anyone who can kick in a few bucks. (Like Joe Girardi?)

As always, the Yankees organization prefers to speak through smoke signals, making it clear to SPORTS ILLUSTRATED’s Jon Heyman (through sources, natch) that this wasn’t Joe Girardi’s idea.  Why not?  Is he scared of Alex? That seems unlikely.  Does he want to keep a facade of being a player’s manager and not tell someone when they have to sit?  That’s one of the few jobs he has as field manager, no?

Mind you, “Star Player Should Come Back Slowly from Fairly New Medical Procedure at Core of Power Creation During Swings” isn’t quite as interesting, so we’ll get a week of “Where’s Joe?” and “Meddlin’ Hal” from the chattering class (including this writer one paragraph earlier).  In fact, the MIAMI HERALD has helpfully listed all the current accusation points.  Heck, maybe Jim Brown knows.