A-Rod Holds Final Cuts For Divorce “Dream Team”

THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS is reporting that “Material Boy” Alex Rodriguez held final tryouts last night for his legal team in what’s sure to be a contentious divorce with his wife Cynthia Rodriguez.

Alex Rodriguez is hit by pitch

When the smoke cleared, Ira Elegant (who represents Shaq and has one of the greatest names of all time) was benched in favor of “powerhouse trial attorney Alan Kluger.” Along with Kluger, A-Rod will be represented by two female attorneys Cynthia Greene and Laura Davis Smith, whom he will try not to have sex with.

A cursory Google-aided look at the three attorneys after the jump.

And what conclusions can we make from this hard-hitting investigative journalism? Absolutely none!