After that last story, it’s probably a good time for a nice, refreshing palette cleanser to close out your day. And nothing takes the rancid taste out of one’s mouth than the completely bland personality that is uber-metrosexual Alex Rodriguez.

But, wait! That was the old A-Rod. The A-Rod who was stuck inside every weekend as part of a loveless marriage, instead of being able to hit the town as a man free of all relationship shackles. In other words, the above A-Rod. The one with the fabulous new highlights in his hair.

Ooh la la!

More goodness from the super-catty NEW YORK POST:

ALEX Rodriguez wasted no time embracing single life. With the ink not yet dry on his divorce, the All-Star was spotted Thursday getting his blond highlights touched up at the Frederick Fekkai Salon. Wearing faded jeans and skin-tight blue T-shirt, A-Rod embraced his feminine side when stylists wrapped his head in a plastic helmet and put him under a heat lamp, reports The Post’s Lukas I. Alpert. Later, A-Rod asked his yes-men if “it should be darker,” to which they responded with stunned silence.

While the NEW YORK POST speculates his new ‘do is because of his recent divorce - because it’ll help A-Rod infiltrate the female population by looking like them? - our opinion is that the man’s just decorating his hair special for the final weekend at Yankee Stadium: The House That Ruth Built will become The House That A-Rod’s Metrosexuality Destroyed.

The big question that everyone will have to mull over during the offseason is just how exactly A-Rod will style his hair to open next year’s new stadium? Stay tuned! We’ll keep you updated as best we can.