8/5/06 FAKE FOOTBALL FLICK FALLS SHORT: August 25th the Disney feature film "Invincible" will be released, which somehow stars Mark Wahlberg as a 30-year-old bartender trying out for the Philadelphia Eagles.

The script is based on a Philadelphian named Vince Papale, who, despite a very small smattering of pro football experience, tried out for the Iggles in 1977 and made the team, playing three seasons.

Papale, in real life, was a tall, speedy speciman who immediately caught then-Eagles coach Dick Vermeil’s eye with his athleticism at an open tryout.

So if the film’s producers were going for authenticity, Wahlberg was an absurd cast, considering his advanced age (35) and Stallone-esque stature (5-7)

Tom Waring of the NORTHEAST TIMES confirms my early suspicions: "To make the actor (Wahlberg) look like an average-sized NFL player, movie producers hired actors who are much smaller than the characters they play.

"Thus, the actor who plays 6-foot-8 wide receiver Harold Carmichael is only 6-foot-1. The actors who play hulking linemen Stan Walters and Jerry Sisemore are much smaller than the typical offensive tackles."

For the past couple weeks, Wahlberg’s helmeted-head has been featured on an enormo billboard on Sunset Blvd. here in L.A., promoting the football flick.

Even on an advertisement the size of Serena Williams’ backside, Wahlberg’s head is so tiny in the helmet that he looks like belongs more at Pop Warner postgame pizza party than in a movie serious about documenting the life of a professional football player.

Could be worse though. Wahlberg could look like Sean Astin in "Rudy", who more resembled a wobbling, Miracle Whip jar with arms than a real-life Notre Dame football player.