71-Yr-Old Ex-Boxer Brutalizes Would-Be Burglar

• A 71-year-old former boxing champ beats & bruises a 23-year-old knife-wielding would-be burglar. The kid should’ve stayed off his lawn.

Frank Corti Gregory McCalium

• The New York Mets get on the bus and stop a 5-game losing streak. Too bad their next bus stop ended up at a Furries convention.

Landon Donovan releasing new book that bashes David Beckham.

• A Cubs fan vows to go on a semi-hunger strike until the Baby Bears win 5 in a row. It was nice knowing ya, pal.

• It’s like the old saying goes: Mexican midget wrestlers & hookers just don’t mix.

• A CFL WR celebrates his first TD of the season with a tribute to Michael Jackson - by taking off his helmet & shoulder pads and posing like a corpse.

Cristiano Ronaldo takes the appropriate steps when he’s being filmed by a 17-year-old girl - he smashes in a car window.

Jim Leyritz keeps reserving deeper & deeper levels of Hell for himself.

• The Kansas City Royals ban one of their few loyal fans because he dared questioned the medical competency of the team’s head athletic trainer.

• Vandals use motorcycles to tear up golf course hole before PGA event.