When someone successfully navigates the tricky terrain that is macking on Erin Andrews, we feel the need to bring you the news. It is the SbB mission statement after all. So when we stumbled upon the following video, we knew we needed to broadcast it to the masses. Apparently, the only thing you have to do in order to lure Ms. Andrews into a conversation is be 7 years old. Oh, and get sandwiched by an enormous wide receiver.
(It doesn’t hurt to wear partial blackface, either)
From THE POOP comes the story of the young Garrett Monroe, a Cincinnati Bearcats superfan who was in the front row watching his team upset 23rd-ranked South Florida last night. Things were going great until the 2nd quarter, when he lost a little bit of his previous innocence.
We’ll let THE POOP recap it:
7-year-old Garrett Monroe experienced the highs and lows in life while watching his beloved Cincinnati Bearcats beat South Florida 24-10. Garrett was seated in the corner of the end zone and when Cincinnati’s Marshawn Gilyard went barreling into the stands, he landed on Garrett. Gilyard then cradled the crying boy in his arms.
Awww.
Watch the whole video over at ESPN.COM, and feel free to take notes on Mr. Morris’ method of seduction. The key here is to simultaneously play on Erin Andrews’ mothering instincts by sobbing uncontrollably, but without coming off as creepy, which tends to happen with anyone over the age of 10. Good luck finding that happy medium!
3:53 pm on October 31st, 2008
What a remarkable story! The Cincinnati Bearcats have fans!
3:55 pm on October 31st, 2008
During next week's Thursday night's game, I'm going to run myself over with a steamroller in the hopes that Erin will talk with me.
3:57 pm on October 31st, 2008
It's not just blackface - the kid also had redface on. He's insulting African-Americans and Indians simultaneously!
3:59 pm on October 31st, 2008
Young Garrett's face was perfectly fine before being run over by the Bearcat receiver. What you see are the after effects.
4:01 pm on October 31st, 2008
I was watching this game. Later on, ESPN showed shots of Garrett signing autographs for the other Cincy fans. He became an instant celebrity.
4:02 pm on October 31st, 2008
I'm just glad the folks of Cincinnati have at least one good football team to cheer on.
4:09 pm on October 31st, 2008
Have you ever been run over by a guy three times your size in full pads? It hurts.
(Yes, this did happen to me once at a high school game. Got run over on the sidelines. But I didn't cry. Much.)
4:10 pm on October 31st, 2008
Erin can mother me all she wants.
4:13 pm on October 31st, 2008
You don't suppose this encounter with a hurt & semi-shy 7-year-old has Erin concerned about her own biological clock ticking, do you?
4:21 pm on October 31st, 2008
Vince Young's Psych…that's how we roll in the "Nati". Go Bearcats
4:28 pm on October 31st, 2008
7-year-olds shouldn't go around picking up Erin Andrews. She's too heavy for them.
4:30 pm on October 31st, 2008
Earl:
I'd be more than happy to help her out with that. Even if we don't conceive, it'll he a hell of a lot of fun to try!
4:47 pm on October 31st, 2008
I hope this doesn't encourage other 7-year-olds to go out and get run over by football players just to get the chance for an interview with Erin Andrews.
6:13 pm on October 31st, 2008
It's not just blackface - the kid also had redface on. He's insulting African-Americans and Indians simultaneously!
Mammy! Ugh!
6:51 pm on October 31st, 2008
Lucky kid.
The Erin Andrews part, not the squashed by a receiver part.
9:17 pm on October 31st, 2008
Bet Garrett was the most popular kid in school today.