61-year-old Tom Thompson gets a puff profile from KXII-TV in Austin thanks to his role as kicker on the local community college football team. We get these stories a couple times a year, with the reporter always somehow neglectful of the possible negative life decisions that led to the unorthodox and now-unoriginal circumstances.

(”OW”)

Thompson is no different. Bless his heart for going back to school, but seriously, shouldn’t he own a couple-three coin-op laundromats by now? And I love the coach’s comments in the story, telling us how much hard work and “pain” Thompson went through to make the team.

Actually, scratch that. After watching Thompson, I know exactly what the coach’s talking about. 

The profile would’ve been a complete bust for me had KXII not shot Thompson actually kicking. That added a whole ‘nother layer of delightful intrigue to the story:

As Thompson notes in the piece, when he was college-age, the game was completely different. He doesn’t though mention that all the kicking back then was done straight-on style - with those bizarre square-toe shoes. Shoes that, apparently, he doesn’t have access to.

Thankfully, we get kicks in the video package that are dubious at best, wildly veering left and right like a Mythbusters 6th century particle board rocket launch. Best part: Those were no doubt Thompson’s best kicks!

So not only do we have the oldest kicker in college football, but we have undeniably the worst.

Somehow, KXII left out that part.