4 Reasons Why T.O. To Buffalo Is A Terrible Move

So, that didn’t take long. Terrell Owens, fresh off being released by the Dallas Cowboys, has signed a one-year, $6.5 million contract with the Buffalo Bills. Perhaps it was a willingness to prove that Drew Rosenhaus wasn’t just making things up when he told reporters a few days ago that multiple teams were interested in Owens, but we can’t help but think that this move was, well, just a bit premature.

Jerry Jones Terrell Owens
(”Ha, ha! I’m going to enjoy sending you off to NFL Hell.” “What’s that, Jerry?” “Hmm? Oh, I was just clearing my throat.”)

1. Owens will eat Trent Edwards alive by November. Here are the starting quarterbacks that T.O. has played for in his career (injury backups excepted): Steve Young, Jeff Garcia, Donovan McNabb, Drew Bledsoe, and Tony Romo. The only ones with whom things didn’t end poorly were Young and Bledsoe, and that was probably because their starting careers effectively ended before Owens could do much with that team; their replacements had to put up with much worse. Further, those five are pretty darned good quarterbacks in their own right. Young, McNabb, and Bledsoe will all probably make the hall of fame, while Garcia and Romo were both above-average QBs last season. Trent Edwards, on the other hand, passed for fewer than one touchdown per game (11 in 14 games) last season and committed 15 turnovers. Whether he’s got the stature in Owens’ eyes to command respect… okay, he just probably doesn’t. The fireworks won’t wait long when the passes start sailing over Owens’ head.

2. It is freaking cold in Buffalo. Woe upon a Buffalo resident in the throes of winter. There’s really nothing to stop the winds from the northern reaches of Canada except a few trees and the Great Lakes. But on the plus side, at least when the wind blows straight from the west instead, it brings lake effect snows of unimaginable depth; snowstorms of over 18 inches are commonplace in the area. It’s the most depressing city in America. What happens when it’s -10 outside, the Jets are finishing up a 31-10 dismantling of your team, and you’ve only got 6.5 million reasons to live? Hmmm?

3. Nobody buys Bills jerseys. Seriously. An Owens/Buffalo jersey is going to have as much unironic appeal as a Mays/Mets jersey.

4. Cincinnati would have been so, so much more entertaining. An offense with Carson Palmer, Chad Johnson, Laveranues Coles, and T.O.? Who cares if the Bengals don’t have a tailback; they wouldn’t have needed one. That would have been fun. Instead, we have T.O. in the NFL’s igloo just so they can get Lee Evans in single coverage. Whatever. You guys blew it.