Coach Arrested For Playing A Little Pocket Tennis

It’s the story you’ve heard so many times before: Youth tennis coach gets arrested for pleasuring himself in the parking lot of a sexual health clinic while watching a group of 14-year-old girls at a nearby bus stop, and then driving past them slowly about eight times. Bonus fact: Apparently he’s a New York Giants fan.

Mark Pain

Mark Pain, the head coach at the Reading (UK) Tennis Club, has quit his job and is due to be sentenced in Reading Magistrates’ Court for the incident. He was caught when one of the girls typed his license information into her cell phone and then rushed home to tell her parents. Quote from prosecuting attorney: “He (Pain) said he had been playing tennis at Reading University and suggested he started feeling himself a little.”


“He was in his car and wearing a black baseball cap and T-shirt. [The girls] noticed the car was parked and he was just sitting there.

“[One girl] looked into the car and could see he was masturbating. The girls waited at a nearby bus stop and he drove past them slowly and did this about eight times.

“The girl who saw this [the masturbating] take place described how she was frightened by what was happening and was concerned about the number of times he drove past.

“The two others said they knew what the individual was doing was wrong but were not sure what to do.”

Another bonus comes in the POST comments section, where a reader not only gets off a pretty funny line, but adds a comical fake name that somehow eluded the editors:

  • and he would have got away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids.. – Hugh Janus, Reading 15/07/2009 at 09:14

Kevin Hennessy, defending, explained software engineer Pain “had no [previous] involvement with the criminal system”.

He said: “The young girl who spotted this incident crossed the road to go to the car.

“She described the man in the car as ‘w******’. Whether you like it or not 14-year-olds know a little bit more than we want them to know.