2/15/04 Some spectacular art of SbB Girl Mel…

2/15/04 Some spectacular art of SbB Girl Melissa - courtesy SbB Supporter Mike Flatt:

Mike plans to produce many more prints of your favorite SbB Girls in the future!


SPORTS BROADCASTING CLOWNS CROWNED: I’ve often reported KTCK-AM’s "The Ticket" is consistently the most entertaining sports radio station anywhere. The reason: All the creative energy that goes into the station’s daily programming - a rarity in the industry.

Earlier this week, SbB spotlighted Lee Corso making a complete jackass of himself on the station - because midday KTCK host Dan McDowell refused to follow the insomnia-inducing sports radio host "playbook."

McDowell and co-host Bob Sturm of The Ticket’s midday "BaD Radio" show then followed up the Corso explosion with an annual show bit that has become a SbB favorite: The "Homer Call of the Year." (Direct Link)

The segment involves playing back some of the most ridiculously over-the-top, slanted calls of radio play-by-play announcers.

As everyone now knows, 99% of sports announcers are paid by teams (and networks) to be on-air shills, and their resulting work is now unintentional comedy gold (and is the reason I got out of the biz).

The show actually plays back several cuts each week during the year, and then The Ticket staff eventually votes on the best (worst?) "Homer Call of the Year."

First, some past faves - mp3 audio links are in CAPS:

1) Minnesota Vikings announcer crying on-air about the Vikes blowing a playoff spot in Arizona on the last play of the game in 2003. Highlight: "NOOOOOOOOOO! … NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

2) Univ. of Colorado football announcer cheerleadering after Jashon Sykes of the ‘01 Buffaloes recovered a fumbled and returned it for a TD against Texas. Highlight: "COLORAAAAAAAADOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

3) Judson (TX) High School announcers blaming the officials for an impending loss, and then apparently falling out of the broadcast booth when the team converts a Hail Mary TD pass to win the Texas State Football Championship. "AGGGGGGGHHH! SEE YOU! SEE YOU! OHHHHHHHHHH! SEE YOU! OHHHHHHH!"

4) SbB favorite and college curmudgeon Larry Munson growling about Georgia’s game-winning TD over Tennessee in 2001: "WE STEPPED ON THEIR FACE WITH A HOB NAIL BOOT AND BROKE THEIR NOSE. WE JUST CRUSHED THEIR FACE!"

Now the 2004-2005 "Homer Call of the Year" Finalists:

1) Texas Tornado North American Hockey League broadcaster egging on two goalies to fight during a brawl. Highlight: "GO, YOU TWO! I WANNA SEE IT! THE TWO GOALIES! GET IN THERE BABE! WOOOOOOOOO!"

2) Dallas Cowboys Spanish broadcaster loses it on a Julius Jones TD run. Highlight: "LA VIDA JULIUS JONES!"

3) Two Liverpool soccer presenters, sounding straight out of Monty Python skit, chatting (over tea?) during the end of a game against Arsenal. A late game-winner from the ‘pool interrupts their convo. Highlight: "LIVERPOOL 2! ARSENAL 1! (unintelligble) BRILLIANT!"

4) Northwestern student announcers overblowing a blocked field goal from a 2004 game against TCU. Highlight: "OH MY, YOU MUST HAVE YOUR JOKING SHOES ON! OH MY, OH GOD, THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!"

5) Baylor broadcasters calling a two-point conversion that gave the Bears an upset win over Texas A&M: Highlight: "YEAAAAH! (unintelligible) WOOOOO! GOD!"

The winner: A couple codgers calling a Kilgore (TX) High School football game in the Texas State Finals.

The duo butchers-up a game-winning blocked field goal by Kilgore, and you can practically here "Dueling Banjos" and Ned Beatty squealing in the background.

Highlight: "HE DONE BLOCKED IT!"

The only argument I have with the final results is that this gentleman’s handiwork wasn’t duly recognized - and celebrated to the hilt. Surely this egregious oversight was due to KTCK not getting the feed to Kansas City Chiefs radio broadcasts this year. ‘Tis pity.

After hearing so many grown men in need of strap-on Depends, I thank god I exited the PBP biz (BaD Radio really needs to get them as a sponsor for the bit).

I also spent several years as a sports radio host and Program Director in major markets - and I’ve heard innumerable radio executives explain low sports radio station ratings by claiming there’s a limited audience for the format - which is of course, hogwash.

The real reason people don’t listen to sports radio is the lack of quality, creative content, like The Ticket’s "Homer Call" bit.

Pushing the same "hot sports opinion" patter on listeners, and then throwing open the phones to the same set o’ callers every day is the reason most sports stations are an automatic tuneout.

Don’t believe me? Look at The Ticket’s overall market share in Dallas, and compare it to sports stations in other cities. As we say in the sports biz, "scoreboard."