Buick Takes Courtesy Cars Away From PGA Tour

Oh, hilarious economy! When will you ever stop plummeting and making us cut back on everything that makes life worth living? First, Colorado-based Focus On The Family has had to trim their staff drastically - rumor has it that they hilariously “overspent” on their pro-Proposition 8 stance - but this latest news to hit the wires is the last straw! Because of budgetary concerns, Buick will no longer be providing courtesy cars to PGA tournaments.

Great Depression

(”Guess it’s back to the old fashioned way.”)

Buick, who has generally had their cars waiting at the airport when PGA participants came into town, is reportedly ending this luxury because “the business model has changed.” Or in layman’s terms, “the car industry’s in the toilet”. Players will now have to (gasp!) rent their own automobiles. Just like commoners!

This is what we call “rich people problems”. But calm down, prima donna golfers. The PGA is on the case!

Here’s some choice quotes from ESPN.COM:

“We’ve already started scrambling to try to approach local dealers or national suppliers to see if they’re interested,” said Clair Peterson, tournament director of the John Deere Classic. “The car industry as a whole is in a tough spot. We’ve already had one company tell us everything has been frozen in ‘09.”

“We’re looking at alternatives,” said Dan Croak at the U.S. Bank Championship. “It’s certainly great if tournaments that don’t have them come up with a suitable solution. But it becomes someone’s expense.”

“We all had it good for a while and it was on cruise control,” Kym Hougham said. “Now we’ve got to get creative. We all try to do as much as we can for the players, and they’ve come to expect it. Like anything in life, it’s hard to take something back.”

“We’re searching,” Gerald Goodman said. “I’m completely positive I can get us a car deal. I haven’t thrown in the towel.”

It’s good to know that serious people in serious positions are throwing their weight behind this crisis. If they take away this perk, what’s next to go? Are the players going to have to raise money for their own ball washers too? (Easy joke, sure. But we just had to lay off our head jester for budgetary concerns?)