$2 Million For This 10,000+ Signed S.I. Collection

That there? It’s not that impressive-looking on its own; it’s just a somewhat large bookcase with quite a few magazines. They just happen to be multiple copies of every single SPORTS ILLUSTRATED… and over 94% of them are signed. Signed by the people on the cover, we mean, not just by Scott Smith, the guy collecting them. That would be rude and destructive.

Scott Smith Signed Sports Illustrated Collection $2 Million
(WANT.)

Furthermore, he’s putting the whole thing on sale. You’re probably going to want to cash in all the penny jars in the house for this one, though, because a collection that takes 27 years to compile and get autographed isn’t going to come on the cheap. $2 million? Oh, no no, much too much to ask. No sir. No way. $1,999,999? Now we’re talking!

From STEADY BURN:

In 1973, Smith’s grandmother gave him his first subscription to SI, and he’s saved every week’s issue since. In 1982, he staked out a hotel and Wayne Gretzky to sign several copies of SI. Shortly thereafter, he found himself traveling seven days a week to track down coaches, athletes and swimsuit models to sign copies of the mag.

Scott started buying complete runs of the magazine dating back to their first issue in 1954. By his count, he’s gotten 2434 SI covers signed - 94.2% of the history of the magazine. The crew he assembled to make this happen include characters like Ace Marchant, his main magazine supplier of 20 years, who barters magazines for autographs (no money has ever exchanged hands between the two). Or Michelle X, his secret weapon…

Michelle X Autograph Seeker
(Yes please.)

As Smith puts it in his not-at-all creepy bio of her:

Every great collector should have a good friend like Michelle X. For obvious reasons, I bring my curvy co-worker with me when crashing the best banquets.

Just look at her. Need I say more? When I can’t get Lance Armstrong, she gets 2. When Roger Clemens saw her, he crumbled like a little girl and signed 5 in a row. Patrick Ewing didn’t stand a chance. Michelle’s lined up to do the Heisman, Baseball Assistance Team, Boys Club, College Football HOF, Mets & Yankees Welcome Home Dinners. I’ll be more than happy to lend her out to any collector that ponies up the money! She ain’t cheap and neither is my lender fee! Her services as an aggressive collector are well worth it.

PS. She’s single.

Um, okay? Pimp guy much? Anyway.

Our favorite part of the EBAY auction (of course it’s on eBay), aside from the $1,999,999 price tag, is the “free shipping” qualifier. Like that’s going to make or break the deal. But it’s not just some setting he forgot to turn off; he really will ship it for free, and in spectacular fashion:

I will personally drive an 18 wheeler to your front door and hand deliver it myself. Payment due via certified money order or bank check. A 25% non refundable deposit is required within 7 days of the auctions end.

Ballin’, sir. Very ballin’. But we won’t be sufficiently satisfied with this “I’ll do this myself” theme unless he carries the entire case into our basement by himself. C’mon, girlie man. Do it.

Anyway, we’ve got like 40 bucks on this. 40 to… 42 dollars. Who’s in this with us?