I’ve officially succumbed to Twitter. My only wish is it had a feature that blocks one’s ability to Tweet after say, midnight local time. For obvious reasons. App? Anyone?

(You’ll have to pry my camera away from my cold, dead hands, babo)

We’re about done upgrading SbB server capacity, so the annoying site slowdowns will soon be a thing of the past. Thanks to our tech J.P., and Christian and Devon at Servint for their tireless work during this process. Read more…

One of the universe’s greatest unsolved mysteries, up there with quantum physics and the question of extraterrestrial life, is the continued employment of MLB “pitcher” Sidney Ponson. Ponson, a known menace and professional DUI-getter, has a career record of 90-106 and an ERA of just under 5.00. His mediocrity on the mound is only a small part of the tale, though. Ponson has been jettisoned from nearly every team he’s every played for (a total of seven teams) for being some combination of bad/fat/drunk/stupid/unlikeable. Yet, the man still has a job on a Major League roster (well, OK, Kansas City, but still).

(There is a link on Ponson’s Wikipedia profile titled “Sidney Ponson Uncut.” I suggest you not click it.)

Even more confounding than his continued employment is the news that Ponson, who maybe weighed 250 lbs in middle school, tested positive for a WEIGHT-LOSS stimulant at the World Baseball Classic. Weight. Loss. Sidney. Ponson. Head asplode.

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We’ve heard the BCS called a lot of names over the years, but Air Force coach Troy Calhoun is taking it to a whole new level. That’s right, according to Calhoun, the BCS is just a bunch of commie pinko bastards.

(”BCS! BCS! BCS!”)

At a luncheon featuring the coaches of Colorado’s NCAA football programs, Calhoun made a very timely analogy in comparing the BCS to the Soviet Union. Meanwhile, Orrin Hatch keeps saying he’s going to get the federal government involved in the whole thing, likely because he believes his Utah team isn’t getting a fair shake at winning the national title (even though they’ve made a BCS game twice).

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Rays fans didn’t exactly go crazy for the World Series rematch with the Phillies at the Trop this week — they didn’t get a crowd that topped 21,000. But one Rays fan got his money’s worth down by the Phils’ bullpen, and ended up getting allegedly smacked around by J.C. Romero.

Romero, if you didn’t know, was the winning pitcher in the deciding game of the Series last year, then was suspended for 50 games this year for testing positive for androstenedione during the 2008 season. He and some other Phillies were approached by 25-year-old Robert Eaton for autographs, but after brushing him off Eaton yelled out to Romero something about him “getting some juice” instead. J.C. didn’t take too kindly to that, but after reading the whole story I’m not so sure that Eaton doesn’t come off looking like the bigger idiot.

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“Red Sox Nation” may be a myth, but there is a Boston bar in just about every city in the country. So with the Sox coming to down, some Boston fans wanted to know where in DC he could find a bar to watch the games with like minded individuals. They made the mistake of asking Nationals fans.

The second mistake was following their advice. Instead of finding himself in the usual faux-Irish tavern that usually serves as a meeting place for Boston expats and bandwagoners, he found himself at “Washington DC’s premiere Gay Country Western nightclub.”

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If you’re born with a stutter, don’t go into public speaking. If you’re born without hands and feet, don’t go into MMA. And if you’re allergic to grass, maybe professional tennis player isn’t the job for you.

Viktor Troicki is allergic to grass, and not in the Rafael-Nadal-is-only-good-on-clay sense. As if having to play national hero Andy Murray in front of a partisan audience today isn’t enough, the court itself is actively trying to kill him. How will he cope? How will he survive? Finally, some drama in tennis.

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It’s easy to understand Ricky Rubio’s reluctance to leave the sun, style and nightlife of Spain for Minnesota. But when UNC’s Wayne Ellington said he was hoping to be drafted by his hometown 76ers, I did a double take. Wayne! Anyone who even survives 18 years in Philly is blessed. Why do you want to go back?

Above would be exhibits A and B. That’s Wayne’s girlfriend, a 19-year-old college student in Philadelphia, and suddenly his desire to stay close to home seems a little less crazy.

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The ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER has new information from the grand jury investigation into the car crash that killed Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim rookie pitcher Nick Adenhart. And if you didn’t already have the overwhelming urge to see accused DUI driver Andrew Gallo murdered in the most sadistic and cruel manner possible before, you will after reading about his actions in the aftermath of the crash that killed Adenhart and two others near Angels Stadium in April.

Not only did Gallo admit to police officers after the crash that he “absolutely” should not have been driving the night of the crash, he was apparently so hammered that he has no idea why he was in Fullerton in the first place since he and his step-brother had been drinking in Covina (almost 25 miles away).  Especially since he “had never been in the city of Fullerton, doesn’t know anyone in the city of Fullerton and doesn’t know why he would be in the city of Fullerton.”

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Perhaps Lou Pinella could have used some of that pot he admitted to having smoked after watching yet another meltdown by one of his players last night. Not surprisingly, it was Milton Bradley who was the instigator this time, flinging his batting helmet in disgust and tossing a Gatorade cooler around the dugout after a bad at-bat in the team’s game versus the Chicago White Sox. (And what do baseball players have against Gatorade? If Tiger Woods ever walked into a MLB dugout, he’d probably be clubbed to death on sight.)

(Lou Pinella was shocked that this guy lost his temper.)

But while Bradley’s meltdown was tame compared to his previous antics (no announcers were screamed at) or that of teammates such as Carlos Zambrano, Ryan Dempster and Ted Lilly earlier this season, Pinella had apparently reached his limit. So MLB.COM says he had words with Bradley in the tunnel, ending with him telling Bradley to “take his uniform off and go home.” So do you think the Cubs are regretting signing Bradley to that three year, $30 million contract in the off-season?

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• Say what you will about Michael Irvin, but he sure knows how to help people have a good time at gentlemen’s clubs.

• Tennis commentator Michael Stich comments that the female competitors at Wimbledon are only there to “sell sex“. Why would he think such a scandalous thought?

• Former WWF wrestler Brian Blair shows what Father’s Day means to him by beating up his two sons.

• Sean Avery gets a taste of his own sloppy seconds, in the form of Jets QB Mark Sanchez’s supposed girlfriend Hilary Rhoda.

• Popular Iowa high school football coach Ed Thomas is shot & killed by a former player – a former player who should have been in police custody at the time.

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